I hate myself when i can not be so organized with my to-do-list.

I hate myself when i wokeup late and i can not be on time for my appointment.

I hate myself when i can not be the only person that he stays for.

I hate myself when i disappoint someone else’s feeling.

I hate myself when i can not make the people around me smile

I hate myself when i know that i’m not a certain color or height as his ex.

I hate myself that i can not be the perfect figure as his expectation.

I hate myself when i know that he can not love me or like me as much as i do.

I hate myself that i can not be a success yet as my friend does.

I hate myself when i know that i have a lot of mess up in myself.

But when will i love my self? when will i happy with who i really am? when will i accept that no one is a perfect-all-the-time-as-a-human-being? when i can be myself as the way i am without comparing to others?

Maybe this is why i am such a mess. because there are times that i can not accept who i am as i am. i still can not take someone’s critic. i still focusing on society standart as my standart.

When it will stop? i honestly don’t know when. but i will stand with myself. i don’t want to hate myself on and on. i want to bear with myself.

D.M